Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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