12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
