We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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