Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
