Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
