i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
