I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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