I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I faked an abortion last night.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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