Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
