It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
