your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
