i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
