so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
