its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
