He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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