why didn't you poke me back
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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