Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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