is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
