Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i've created a new STD.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
