I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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