The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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