next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
