I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
