69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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