you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize