scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
