Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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