It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
