i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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