yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
