so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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