Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
