her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
