dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
