My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
