Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
