How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
