I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
