look no pants
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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