haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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