I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is her dick bigger than yours?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
