He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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