sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
