Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
