Already got asked if we're dating
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
