Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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