He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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