i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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