Non-Jews are for practice
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
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