We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
