Need sex. Gaining weight.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I party with great urgency now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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