I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
