Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
