Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
