Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
