nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm both gender and math confused
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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