Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
