We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
