You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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