That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
