And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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